Episode Transcript
[00:00:01] Speaker A: Hey, there. I'm Sarah, and welcome back to the Midlife Happiness project. I think today's episode is particularly relatable and inspiring to anyone who's been so committed to their job and their kids that they let their physical health take a backseat. Sharon is my guest today, and she spent years running her three kids around to sports events, all the while pursuing her writing career during what little free time she had. It was when her daughter wrote up a list of adjectives describing her mom that included weak af that Sharon realized that something had to change. She found Pilates, and it has changed her life.
Now she does Pilates three times a week. Shes in the best physical shape of her life. Shes more active, and her chronic neck and back pain have all but gone away.
Her kids, well, they even tell her that shes not weak af anymore. So join me on Todays episode to hear how Sharon took charge of her health, found Pilates, and now has a new lisa on life.
Okay, welcome back to the midlife happiness project. I'm Sarah, and I am here with my friend Sharon. And Sharon is a mother of three wonderful kids, happily married, and she's a writer. Hi, there, Sharon. How are you?
[00:01:44] Speaker B: Hi.
Great.
[00:01:47] Speaker A: Great. Okay. Well, today she's going to be talking about something I think probably some of us may have tried, but it's something that's really been very impactful to her life and really contributed to her happiness. And on that note, what is that thing, that thing that you've incorporated into your life since becoming an empty nester that's really giving you happiness?
[00:02:16] Speaker B: It is definitely Pilates. I love to tell people about Pilates because it's. I think people get an image of it being.
I don't know. Well, like they did recently. There was a Saturday Night Live skit with Kristen Wiig as the instructor, kind of, you know, which is great, but for me, it has eliminated a lot of chronic pain. You know, I feel stronger. It's just life changing across the board.
[00:02:51] Speaker A: I love to hear this, so let's just start with this. So you now have Pilates. Is this something that you sought out? You were looking for something, or did this just sort of come about, and it was just delightful that it happened into your life?
[00:03:12] Speaker B: Well, I think, like a lot of parents, a lot of women especially, you know, when my kids were at home, I was very focused on supporting them, also working. You know, I'm a writer. There was a lot of years of driving to soccer practice, sitting in my Volvo, writing an article. Like, I called it my rolling office. An awful lot of sitting goes with being a writer. But also, if you're driving soccer, carpool every night, there's a lot of sitting.
But because my kids were all athletes, inevitably they got injuries. You know, my oldest daughter tore her ACL.
My son had a stress fracture in his back.
The youngest, she ended up in physical therapy, too, but they all ended up in physical therapy for various reasons. And sort of, we're very lucky. The physical therapist is just down the street from us, who is fantastic and kind of seeing how she was helping the kids.
I was somebody who was going to the chiropractor a couple times a week for probably 20 years, like since my twenties.
And, you know, it's. That was time consuming, expensive, often unpleasant, you know, getting cracked. I believe that it can be really, really helpful. But finally one day there was a chiropractor who was subbing in for my regular guy, and she said, you know what I think your problem is with your muscles, not your bones. Your muscles are not holding your bones in place.
And I think you could get a lot from exercise. So then I talked to my kids PTA, and I said, you know, what do you think about me trying physical therapy? Because at that point, I mean, I was. This was a while ago, but I thought I had already had arthritis in my neck. Like, I couldn't move my neck and I was getting the hump. And this was a while ago, so, of course, you know, she said, come on in. And we started with PT, and that went on for a few years because I was. I had so neglected myself. Sarah.
And then finally I graduated to Pilates. She teaches small group Pilates.
I always tell people it's all of us, you know, middle aged and old people. You know, it's a. She designs routines based on our ailments and where we need to strengthen. And it has.
It's just been a complete transformation. And with the kids leaving home, I'm able to do it like I was going once a week. Now I go two to three times a week.
[00:06:33] Speaker A: So that's a very big commitment, considering you hadn't done. Had you done incorporated exercise into your life at all before this point?
[00:06:44] Speaker B: You know, I always was somebody who liked walking.
I sort of liked yoga. And I would go, but I couldn't do the things that everybody could do.
And because of all the back and neck problems that started in my twenties, I just.
I think I had a mindset that there were a lot of things that I couldn't do.
And I. When my kids got into their teenage years. And there was so much driving with sports. There was not a lot of walking time, necessarily. I mean, I could have joined the people walking around the soccer field, but like I said, I was literally working in my car a lot of the time and just not, not making that time for myself like I should have.
[00:07:33] Speaker A: So this is, this is a really key point here. And again, this is not to say that this doesn't speak to dads, but this speaks to women, certainly, because so many of us, you know, you have jobs, you still have to maintain the household. You've got these kids, you're driving around all over the place, and it's fine and, well, to say, make time for yourself, but there's just so many hours in the day. And a lot of us, when we had those kind of crazy schedules, frankly, you wanted to sleep when you had some free time. I do remember lying on the floor and basically taking a nap.
And so exercise is something that we all recognize that's important, but a lot of us really only have introduced into our life when we didn't have these overwhelming responsibilities. But what I find interesting about your story about Pilates is that it's rooted not just in wellness, but it gives you, there's a practical side to this, that it allows you to do things you couldn't do before. And so it's almost like Pilates is this door you've opened, and now you can consider doing things like, and I'm just putting it out there, golf or whatever. It is something that you wouldn't have thought of before because you have this strength. And, of course, it goes without saying that, you know, with pilates, absolutely there is a benefit that, you know, great and keeps you fit. But at the same time, that wasn't necessarily the motivation behind it.
[00:09:28] Speaker B: No, I wanted to be out of pain.
And, you know, I think that that has really made a difference. And, you know, something else that I noticed this year? When I had my physical, I had the best physical of my life. And if you're worried about weight, I'm at my heaviest. A lot of that is muscle, but some is cookies, so I like to cook.
But, you know, I think that, you know, you can't argue with that because I'm able, you know, I'm able if we go somewhere, you know, if I do go on a walk with my husband, I'm better able to keep up. I went to Italy for a conference last month in Positano, which, if anybody's ever been there, there's a lot of hills. And I hadn't been there in about ten years. And the difference in being able to go up and down the hills just to get to a restaurant or shopping or whatever, I wasn't even trying to hike. But to be able to go up and down the steps without difficulty was just incredible.
And, you know, I keep noticing also the exercises that you do in Pilates, that, for example, there's one that's done with what's called the wonder chair that my instructor calls a controlled fall. So you're supporting yourself with one arm, and then the other one is you're letting your weight fall onto a pedal. Well, I tripped on the street and I fell. Not very controlled, but, you know, caught myself with my hand, and I just felt like, you know, where did that come from?
I didn't break any bones, you know, it was so.
[00:11:36] Speaker A: And you're noticing it in a really practical way?
[00:11:40] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:11:40] Speaker A: In that, you know, it's showing up the benefits, showing up in your life in unexpected ways.
That's fantastic. Now, how do you work this into your life? So you say you take it sometimes two to three days a week. Do you? Is it very structured? I know I ask that because with me and my own routine, I do the same thing every day at the same time. It's a way that I know I can by giving it structure. I know that I'll continue to do it, even if it deviates for an hour or two. Sometimes I'm just like, yeah. Oh, just forget it. It's too late in the day. I can't be bothered now.
[00:12:20] Speaker B: Yeah. Now I have regular days.
08:00 a.m.
wednesday and Friday. 08:00 a.m. wouldn't be necessarily my first choice because I prefer to do my writing in the morning, but that's when I can get the class, and so I do it. And then, if you like, if you go out of town, you miss a class or what have you, there are different times that you can do makeup. So, you know, I fit it in that way, but it's right down the street from my house, and that is a huge.
[00:12:59] Speaker A: So you can't make excuses, right?
[00:13:01] Speaker B: No, no. It takes me eleven minutes to walk there and two minutes to drive there. My husband belongs to a health club in downtown Seattle near his office, and technically, I'm a member, too, but I know myself, you know, my motivation, to drive 20 minutes in traffic, park in a parking garage, walk two blocks, it doesn't happen, you know, unless I'm tagging along with him.
[00:13:33] Speaker A: So that's that. I think that's great. Right? In other words, be honest with yourself. Like, you know, when people sign up for gyms or programs and they spend a ton of money and they think, new me, this is it. I'm going to be there seven days a week, and then it. Just be realistic, you know? If you're not a morning person, don't sign up for morning classes. Everybody's very different. Figure out something. Just do it. There's no right or wrong way. Just get it in. Right?
[00:14:01] Speaker B: Yeah. And, you know, if you're somebody like me, finding someone, whether it's, you know, an instructor or a trainer, who makes you feel comfortable, you know, not embarrassed if you're out of shape. Right. I.
It could. Can really be helpful, you know, somebody who's gonna encourage you and motivate you and push you a little bit. But, you know, sometimes I think with, you know, less experienced instructors or who knows, there can be kind of a shaming factor if somebody's not already accomplished and you just, you know, there's enough shame in life. You don't need it at the gym.
[00:14:48] Speaker A: No, no, no. And there's plenty of options. Plenty of options where it comes to pilates and. Yes, absolutely. So let's get specific. How would you say pilates has really contributed not just to your well being, but your happiness? Has. Has it had benefits to your marriage, obviously, your health, maybe socially, meeting people at these classes? Can you speak to that?
[00:15:23] Speaker B: Sure.
I think my husband and my family all feel really proud of me.
When the kids were in high school, the youngest, as a joke, made a list one time describing me, and it included the term weak af, and I'm not anymore, you know, so stretch that off the list. Yes. They come home and they're all, I've got three college athletes. I'm always like, check out my, you know, poke my abs.
[00:16:02] Speaker A: Poke my abs.
[00:16:03] Speaker B: And they're always like, okay.
And, you know, this is Seattle, so it takes longer to meet people in your classes, but because people are a little more.
They call it the Seattle freeze. I don't know if that's really true, but. So it takes a little bit longer, but it's a really nice group.
You know, I've go my. Two times a week, it's the same group, and it's starting to get a little more chit chatty, which is a lot of fun.
Or, you know, I missed because we were on vacation, and it was nice to come back and have people say, we missed you. So that's been great.
[00:16:49] Speaker A: This is. This is fantastic. And so let me ask you, by you kind of now incorporating pilates in your daily life, has it inspired you to maybe try something else, invite something else into your life?
[00:17:11] Speaker B: Well, you know, my husband and I just bought a little vacation cottage in California. Our walk from our little vacation cottage to the beach. It's about 25 minutes to the beach and about 30 minutes home uphill. And it's just so fantastic to, you know, have the energy and the strength to do that.
And so I've also been looking around for maybe some dance classes, adult dance classes, which was something, you know, I was never a big athlete as a kid. I played a little softball, which is a lot of standing, let's be honest, at least the way I played and not the way, you know, a real softball player would play. But I was a theater kid, so I did dance and things like that, and I want to get back into that. You know, I like things that I forget that I'm exercising, basically.
[00:18:18] Speaker A: And I think a lot of people can relate to this.
You know, your story is very, I think, attainable for a lot of people listening today.
You've taken out sort of the scariness of starting a new routine, and you more or less sort of fell into this, and yet you've stuck, stuck it out. You've continued with it. A lot of people, they're great at starting things, not so good with the continuing of it. And, you know, I commend you for this. And I think it's great when, you know, you've got this big adventure to talk about or some challenge that you've taken on maybe at this particular time of your life. But the reality is for most people, you know, they are still working, they are still grounded. Maybe they're not in a position where they can go travel the world or do anything crazy. It starts at home and certainly taking a Pilates class or a dance class or whatever, a yoga class, you know, to each his own. But that's something that I would think most people have access to. And, you know, for that reason, I think that people are really, again, going to be inspired by your story today.
[00:19:47] Speaker B: Well, that's very nice of you to say because you were always a fitness role model when you're running. But, you know, I mean, I think all of us, even when we exercise, we sit too much. If you have a job, like writing, where you sit too much, it's so important to just be more conscious of it because, you know, you want to go into the golden years dancing and not limping, if you can.
[00:20:22] Speaker A: Absolutely, absolutely. In fact, to that point, I don't know if you've ever investigated into this, but these, you know, these standing desks that people stand at. At first I thought, that sounds God awful, but now I see it, you know, again, this is about being conscious of. We all just basically sit too much, you know?
[00:20:47] Speaker B: Yeah. And, you know, when I'm. When I'm writing, you know, then this was an instruct suggestion from my Pilates instructor. But I just, you know, I set a timer where I get up every 45 minutes, you know, and I'm working at home. So I'm working for 45 minutes. I take ten minutes, and I'm, you know, loading the washer or making tea or whatever, doing something to move around and just, you know, being much more conscious. And again, that's an empty nest luxury because, you know, if you're. If you're running hard sometimes with kids, you're anything but conscious.
[00:21:31] Speaker A: Right.
[00:21:32] Speaker B: Just trying to deal with what's right in front of you.
[00:21:35] Speaker A: Mm hmm. Mm hmm. And making yourself a priority. Sometimes we think that by doing that, we're being bad moms, which, of course, was never the case. But I think we're all guilty of feeling that way. We have to operate at this certain level and be perfect, and obviously, that's.
That's not going to happen, you know? So on that note, thank you so much for being a guest today. Thank you. Absolutely. We so appreciate you telling us about your experience. And again, I think it'll be. It'll be very inspiring to our listeners.
[00:22:12] Speaker B: Well, thanks. I'm excited to see where you go with the podcast.
[00:22:17] Speaker A: Oh, well, we'll see. Ironically, this is, I guess, my thing myself, because as a working woman who doesn't have kids here, if you had asked me, God, last year, would, you know, Sarah, you'd be doing a podcast?
No, absolutely not. So we're all about just trying new things and giving it a go and see what happens.
[00:22:44] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:22:45] Speaker A: And on that note, thank you so much for joining us, and we will see you next time. Thanks.
[00:22:54] Speaker B: It's a great day. It's a good day.
